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THE AFFLICTION OF CONFLICTION

by Paradigm in Time

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1.
Don't worry; for in the end there will be stars, and you will let them change you. ((Figment Forest)) 15:05
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we went into a forest together... i didn't realize you'd stepped out after only a couple steps in... So i kept going, thinking you'd just gotten ahead and looked for you forever. i was lost, but somehow, i survived And all that time i thought that love would be my guide It was years before i realized i'd been fooled But really, all along i knew At first, i hadn't known i knew But then i remembered your eyes, a dazed and lifeless look It's the look that i imagined you had as you stood Right on the brink of the wood. i could see myself, through your eyes a stupid, foolish prize Perhaps i could have been your pride But then i wandered into the wild. But i was never scared My epic mind could turn even heartache into wine But as far as my heart... You watched it as a romance, as a dying star. i remember your eyes, i do they seemed even to have turned the coldest blue From the earthy color that they were A sign that you had left the Earth. i tried to share so much with you But i closed my eyes in vain; in search of any light or idea that could put an end to pain. But i'd made up my mind, hadn't i? Hadn't i chosen to let you play? And now i know that look you'd had Was but a poker face. You warned me, didn't you? i remember it clearly; and you might as well have said, "I don't want to destroy you." The closest one could come to death without becoming dead... i don't think you wondered what became of me... But i do know, somehow, that you regretted me... So, what could that mean? For it means too many things. i wanted to share, and i did But it led me off a ledge It was almost as if you had a voodoo doll inside your head. Maybe it was too much fun Maybe you found meaning in it But i know you never laughed It was not that kind of trick. In fact, I imagine what it was was madness As you quietly inflicted pain Or maybe you did chuckle behind my back Instead of calling out my name.
2.
to my friends... 05:00
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I was alone when you found me.... I was scared and distrusting You came down the stairs And you found me there. In many ways, I owe my pleasure to you In the palm of your hand was a diamond and an apple seed And you told me to plant it when I was ready. You gave it to me I accepted it gladly I asked, "will you never leave?" I swear, I wear your... I swear, I wear your smile everywhere I go now There's no such thing as a frown when you're around.

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released August 1, 2021

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